Intestinal gas, properly called “flatulence” or commonly referred to as “farting” “passing gas” or “breaking wind”, is an embarrassing problem. Most people do not want to fart in front of others because farts not only smell horrible, they often lead to an awkward silence after one has squeaked (or erupted!) it’s way out from between your cheeks.
Bloating is often experienced along with flatulence, and can also be means of embarrassment. That belly that is suddenly bulging after you have eaten lunch, is not only uncomfortable, but also unsightly.
Don’t worry, there are ways to deal with the embarrassment caused by gas and bloating. Below are some common ones, but feel free to use your creativity and come up with some more.
How to Mask the Smell of Your Farts
- Light scented candles, the flame will help burn off the gas, and the scent of the candle will help mask any residual odor.
- Light a match, the strong smell produced when striking the match may mask the odor, and the flame, like a candle will help burn off the gas.
- Light your farts on fire – burn the gas before it has a chance to disperse in the air – CAUTION: This can be dangerous! You can decided if the risk of setting something on fire outweighs the discomfort and offensiveness of your odor This option will only work for you if you have an extroverted personality because you will make quite a display!
- Blame the dog…..but, keep in mind that not everyone will believe you.
- Turn on the ceiling fan to get the air moving around so that the smell doesn’t linger.
- If it is a nice day outside, open all the windows to get some fresh air inside.
- Step outside, or at least away if there are others in the room – they may know what you are doing, but will appreciate the gesture.
- Purchase charcoal filtered underwear or inserts. These filter the gas at it’s exit point from the body, thus eliminating or greatly reducing the amount of smell that makes it’s way into the environment around you. There are a few companies that make such products, the most popular are: Under-Tec, Flat-D, and My Shreddies.
How to Mask the Sound of your Farts
- Cough (You may have to work on your timing to pull this one off).
- Turn on some music and crank the bass.
- Sit on a squeaky chair, and time your release with a change of position on the chair, then blame the chair. You may also be able to do this while walking on old floorboards.
- Pull your butt cheeks apart and relax your anus before you let one rip. Also try release the air slowly without force, just let the air flow out gently, kind of like you are exhaling from your anus. The sound that is produced with farting occurs because your cheeks are pressed together too tightly, the sphincter muscles of the anus are tense, or because you are releasing the gas too quickly or forcefully.
How to Hide Your Bloated Belly
- If you’re at home, change into your “fat pants” so your protruding abdomen will becomes less obvious.
- Loosen your belt by a few notches. It wont really hide the problem, but you will feel and appear more comfortable and relaxed, which will draw less attention to you.
- If you feel it may be a gassy day or evening, dress appropriately before you leave your house. Wear loose fitting shirts and pants so there is room for expansion. Don’t wear fancy belts or shirts with patterns that draw attention to your abdominal area, instead highlight your look with hats, scarves, or other accessories that are worn far away from your abdomen.
There are many methods to help with the embarrassment caused by symptoms of gas and bloating, and although they may help in some way, they do not offer a permanent solution to the problem. If you don’t want to just mask the problem, but you want actual relief, please read “How to Get Rid of Gas and Bloating Now and Forever” where there are many short and long-term solutions for relieving symptoms of gas and bloating.
Also, remember not to get too worked up about your bodily functions. You’re not alone – everyone passes gas, and there is no reason to feel embarrassed about it. It’s much healthier to let it out that to keep it in. If society thought about it from that point of view we could avoid the health problems associated with the suppression of this natural bodily function. Remember, there is a reason the gas is trying to get out. Don’t keep in what your body wants out!
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